Shifting Fear to Excitement for Big Events
Take a moment and think back to the last big event in your life. It might have been leading an important presentation, sharing big ideas on a conference stage, running a workshop, or holding space for a vision-setting planning session. It might have been making a toast at a wedding, or celebrating a milestone birthday.
For me, the anticipation and preparation for a big event involves the dual emotions of fear and excitement. They seem to feed into each other. I recently ran a four-day women’s leadership retreat and I could feel the familiar swirl:
Will my co-leader and I disagree on the programming?
What if nobody shows up?
What if I get distracted and forget what to say?
Will everyone laugh at what I present? Will it be a massive waste of time for them?
What will go wrong with the logistics (weather/food/lodging)?
And at the same time, I could feel the excitement and sense of possibility:
I love speaking, talking and teaching. This energizes me.
I can’t wait to meet and learn from the other leaders attending. They are so cool!
I’m thrilled to spend time away from the day-to-day and in an outdoor setting.
It’s exciting to see what will unfold.
There’s magic in the serendipity of bringing a like-minded group of people together in person.
All these emotions are present. All these thoughts run through our ruminating monkey-minds. We can let all these emotions be present, and simultaneously reframe them to aid our leadership.
Here are four strategies to help shift fear into excitement.
1. Recognize that emotions are in our control
Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett is a neuroscientist and researcher who studies emotions. Her research argues that emotions aren’t simply something that happens to us, but a way for the brain to process the world, and tell you how to feel. In her 18 minute TED talk she explains:
“Emotions are guesses. They are guesses that your brain constructs in the moment where billions of brain cells are working together, and you have more control over those guesses than you might imagine that you do.”
The physical feelings of excitement & fear are not too dissimilar — heart pounding, butterflies in your stomach, maybe a tingle throughout your body. Dr. Barrett suggests that you can influence whether you’re feeling excitement or fear with a change in perspective… and lots of practice. Your brain can reframe these physical feelings and channel them from fear into excitement.
Let’s play with how.
2. Remember patterns of success from the past
Your brain remembers emotions from the past. Think back to other big events that have happened in your life, other times that you’ve been on stage, or led a meeting, or drove a vision workshop.
On the emotional side, focus on the highlight moments, the celebrations, and feelings of accomplishment. Remember what it felt like to complete that meeting or get a compliment on how you ran it. Paint a scene of the success. Relive how it made you feel.
On the intellectual side, take stock of the strategies that worked for you. Perhaps it was taking the time to rehearse the presentation multiple times, or to identify allies in the room. Perhaps there’s something that didn’t go well and you now want to adjust and experiment with for the future.
Visualize these emotional and intellectual patterns of success. The more you think about these, the stronger you reinforce these brain patterns.
3. Reframe uncertainty into possibility
Fear often comes from uncertainty. We can ruminate and anticipate all the possible things that could go wrong. Instead, think about the possibilities of what might go right at the big event. When we plan and anticipate good things, it can be even better than the actual experience. This New York Times article on vacation anticipation claims that: “Anticipation is such a valuable source of pleasure.”
So rather than think through all the negative outcomes, envision the hugest possible win from the event. Open up creative energy to dream big about what might unfold and become possible.
Are you starting to feel excited?
4. Channel other people’s energy
And despite all that, it can be hard to mitigate the fear. The last strategy is to think about the other people who will be present at the event. Look to your co-collaborators or allies who are equally invested in everyone’s mutual success. Think about their excitement and have their words or actions fuel you.
Beyond your co-collaborators, consider the audience that will be present. Think about what’s drawing them to the event and how their lives or work might be transformed by the information they hear or the experience they have.
Bottom-Line
Often both fear and excitement will exist when preparing for a big event. Both feed off each other as natural companions. If you find yourself swirling with fear and anxiety, consider these four strategies to shift into excitement:
Recognize that emotions are in our control
Remember patterns of success from the past
Reframe uncertainty into possibility
Channel other people’s energy