Focus on What’s Right, Not What’s Wrong

I have a tendency to look for what’s wrong, to play devil’s advocate, and to contingency plan all the possible ways things can go wrong. Sometimes this can be a good trait for a planner, and it’s fantastic in a crisis-management situation. However, as a leader, only looking for what’s wrong can be hugely deflating to your teams.

Through most of my career, when I heard someone else’s idea, my first instinct was to put on the skeptical hat and ask many detailed questions. I sought to understand, and perhaps also to shoot it down and find out why the idea didn’t work. That first blunt reaction to an idea could really turn people off and destroy their confidence, especially if it had been difficult for them to present the idea in the first place. We’ve all known people in meetings who always respond to our contributions with a rebuttal. It’s not pleasant to be around them. Gradually over the years, I learned to replace the interrogation with (hopefully) a more curious inquiry. I could accept the brilliance of the idea first and then build it up with questions and together co-create a new version of the idea. I was learning to adjust and build relationships with people rather focusing on what’s wrong. 

Be the Inspiring, Supportive Leader

Instead, be the leader who inspires. Trust that the people who work for you have the skills to do their job. You don’t need to second-guess or perform risk-mitigation on them. Be the support mechanism to help them troubleshoot issues that they choose to bring to you. Rather than point out what’s wrong, encourage them to dream bigger, think wider, and reach larger scale goals. 

Think about the ratio of positive to negative feedback that you provide to people. Most of us, often only provide feedback when we want someone to fix a problem. It’s never pleasant to be on the receiving end of an endless stream of constructive criticism. Instead aim for 3:1 ratio of positive to negative feedback. 

Why? Most of us, when listening to performance feedback at work are hardwired to ignore the compliments and positivity. We nod, yeah, yeah, yeah, barely acknowledging the praise, and anxiously wait for the actionable, critical feedback so we can improve. People aren’t receptive to positive feedback— it’s hard to hear nice things about ourselves and it makes us uncomfortable. Instead, we over-index on the negative feedback as we think it’s actionable and we can fix ourselves. As a leader, mitigate these biases by providing more positive feedback, increasing the chances that it will land. Aiming for the 3:1 ratio of positive to negative feedback. Oh, also make sure that both the positive and negative feedback are timely and specific. 

Create a Culture of Celebration

Many of my high achieving clients focus on the next goals in front of them, whether it’s getting through the fund-raising round, negotiating a job offer, taking the company public, or closing a key hire for the team. The instant one goal is achieved, they move on to the next round of goals. It might have been challenging to do something for the first time, such as their first round of fund-raising, however, once it’s completed, we minimize our accomplishments and look towards the horizon for what’s next. This approach helps high-achievers continually push to do more. The downside of this approach is that we are endlessly pushing forwards and often never feel satisfied. We keep moving the goalposts whenever we achieve a goal. 

Instead, create a culture of celebration for your teams. Acknowledge the milestones and achievements, both the personal ones and the team-wide ones. You can establish rituals built into team meetings or 1–1 conversations.

 With my clients, we often start out each regular session answering the question: “What do you have to celebrate since we’ve last talked?” 

Hold the Vision and Possibility

Finally, the biggest focus on what’s right as a leader is to push for bigger vision and possibility for the company or the team as a whole. In Silicon Valley, many companies exist to provide new services or products to different groups of people. As the leader, tie back every project or initiative to a bigger mission and vision. It doesn’t have to achievable this month or quarter… it can be further out as a North Star vision for the company. Painting a picture of this new possibility serves as mission & meaning. It helps the team get through the hardships and struggles of each day. The team can get easily trapped in the minutia of project details, the posturing and opinions within each meeting, and the energy needed to convince every stakeholder that it’s the right thing to do. As a leader, be the shiny star that reminds everyone why we’re here and what we’re truly trying to achieve together. 

Bottom-Line

As a leader, focus on what’s right, not what’s wrong. Be the supportive, inspiring voice for your team. Create a culture of celebration. And most of all, help guide the team through the daily grind of hard work by providing a big vision and always reminding them of why they work here. 

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